I know you or people you love dearly are wading through uncertain waters right now. I wanted to share our current experience with you, partly to (hopefully) encourage you and partly because I use this blog to update family & friends and both of us rarely at once have time to have a heart to heart on the phone. So here’s where we’re at….
Waiting for the call.
Waiting for a call from Birthmom, most importantly. We have some preliminary paperwork in hand that put our precious baby boy in our custody as far as the Law is concerned, but we need a few things more in order to get formal adoption paperwork going. We’re waiting on a call from Birthmom and wisdom from God as to what to do next. We have options even if we don’t get a call, but it would be the most cut and dry if we got everything we need up front. Pray for that, if you think to. It’s heavy on my heart.
I know that God created him and brought him into our family. I know that God has a special place in His heart for orphans. Oddly I’m not freaking out, thank God (seriously), but I see the clock ticking and our time here in Carolina coming to a close. We want a call, and soon.
We need a call from God, too. We need to know where God is calling us to move. At first it was an Indian reservation in Middle Of Nowhere, Montana. That fell through, but in retrospect I see how God led us there, I feel, to strengthen and test our faith. We were confused but strangely relieved when it wasn’t happening anymore, but were left with the question: If not there- then where?
An opportunity just up the road from here came up next and we thought that surely this must be it! Doc would have gotten an extra year of training helping him specialize in some cool doctor skills, it was a cute town, the job seemed nice enough. But something about it just wasn’t right. Doc recently told them no on account of some stuff that came up, which was hard for many reasons, but I’m proud of him. He followed God’s leading in that situation and I’m so, so proud of him.
But now we’re left with his graduation in June, our house up for sale, and nowhere to go yet. He had a scholarship which obligates him to work in a federally designated “underserved” area for several years following residency, so that’s a hugely limiting factor in what options we have. The scholarship was awesome, we don’t regret for a moment taking it as God used it to get this newlywed couple through the first good bit of med school completely debt free. But the handful of places that qualify is getting smaller as time passes! We need a call from God and the humility and courage to go there.
God reminds His people over and over again to look at the ways He made good on His promises to them. It’s hugely encouraging to look back at His leading us to take the scholarship, then move to Carolina for residency, not to mention all of the smaller ways He’s led us. It’s because of our knowledge and experience of who He is and what He’s done that these two control freaks aren’t freaking out. But we’re praying, a lot right now.
And as a bonus in all of this stuff- Just like any other murky or painful or confusing waters I’ve waded through (hehe… or been dragged through) in my life, I’m left at the end with a softened heart towards people I see going through something similar. It’s so easy to judge, to willingly see only the surface of a person. Walk a little ways in their shoes and you find yourself looking deeper into their eyes momentarily, feeling convicted, and more practically, empathetic at the unexplained sadness there. You know you can’t completely understand but just enough to care, then compassion overcomes cynicism.
I should have put that last paragraph in first person! It’s stuff I’m learning. The big sister in me turns it into a moment to preach ;)
So that’s where we’re at. Nobody’s died or anything horrible happening, just run of the mill life moving (um, at the speed of a freight train anyone?) with everything beautiful, confusing, loud, normal, scary, spit-uppy, and hilarious tagging right on along.